Abby’s Diary #24 By Fiksionist

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Dear Diary,

                              I got the first kiss and she’ll get the last

                             She’s got the future, I got the past

                            I got the class ring, she got the diamond and wedding band

                            I got the boy, she got the man.  

I heard Jana Kramer’s  I Got The Boy some days ago and it stuck in my head, reminding me of Jake. He finally chose her. Maybe it was what I wanted…not exactly to be honest. I wanted him to want me and he did for a few miserable days.

You remember how I told you he kept calling and sending me messages? Well, that stopped after 2 days. Just two days and then out of curiosity I went on Facebook to check for Aura Sowemimo and that was when I saw a video of their vow renewal in a church in Paris, with their children and a few people. Her gown looked expensive and Jake looked like Jake. Sexy, yummy and boyish in the most mature way. Dear Diary, since then, everyday seemed the same as minutes wove into hours and time slipped by not knowing where it went. I cried myself to sleep with memories running through my head and wishing I had picked his call one last time. Maybe he wanted us to elope or maybe he just wanted to say goodbye. Either way, one last time would have just been enough.

I thought I will be stronger in Aunty Alero’s house but mehn, I got tired of being monitored and went back home, buried myself in work and turned off my phone completely. Friday came in style to everyone at the office still high on Independence Day but I couldn’t care less. I returned home with loads of work to clear up and while in Concentration Mode, Ogama rushed into my room with her left hand out-stretched showing off a…a…a ring. OMG! Life has a way of throwing you blows.

“I can’t believe Julius proposed! My Mr. Small Hands!!!”

“Wow!” I said, staring at the pink diamond on her finger. It was so gorgeous.

“I can’t believe it! He just took me to this jazz show and all of a sudden Timi Dakolo was singing Iyawo Mi, walked up to us and then handed over the ring to Julius who dropped on one knee and proposed! I was in tears Abby!”

“Wow” I said again and before I knew it she was on the phone with her father and then she left and I heard Julius’s voice on the phone with her father.

I was happy for her but why did I feel this overwhelming need to cry? This is my best friend and I needed to be happy for her. So, I shut down my laptop and left my room to go meet Julius wearing a plastered smile on my face.

“Congratulations Julius! You finally kept her down.”

He laughed and hugged me.

“That ring must have cost you a fortune.” I said looking at Ogama while she talked to someone on the phone.

“My dear, my account is bleeding but she is worth every kobo.” He said laughing.

“I know.” I looked at Ogama laughing away and I saw her tear stained face glowing with joy only such news brings.

“We are actually going out to hang out with the rest of the cabal. We came to pick you up.”

“Going out? I errmm…”

Ogama rounded up her call. “Abigail please get dressed ‘cause we are going to turn up like mad tonight”

I was about to respond when she walked into Julius’s arms and they both started kissing. With a smile plastered on my face I stared at the love birds, feeling a little awkward before my senses pushed my feet to my room. I settled in for a St Genevieve black dress after wearing a cincher. Damn these cinchers! They have a way of making you regret all the Blue Bunny Ice cream you ate during the week. I need to start watching my weight again.

Anyway, we got to The Place in Lekki and all of Julius’s and Ogama’s friends were already there. Apparently I was the only one out of the engagement loop. The happy mode was intense especially because I had not been amidst ‘happiness’ in a while. I didn’t want to be a party pooper so I went to the bar to get a shot of tequila. I needed it.

So while I was there minding my business, guess who came around for a shot?


I swallowed “Tayo?”

He hugged me “Wow! I least expected to see you here. What is going on? How have you been?”

He looked well-kept but not fabulous. I think he was trying to get on the beard gang train but it totally looked weird. The train was for guys who were born with beards not for those who used it as a prayer point. Sorry guys.

“I am fine. Ogama just got engaged so we came to hang out.”

“Wow! Cool. How about you? Any wedding bells ringing or have they rang already?”

I smiled. “Nah, not yet.”

“Sorry dear.”

See this guy o! Na disease ni?

“Last I heard, you were in Ghana.”

I licked my lips. “Yes I was. Briefly though. So where is your wife?” I said looking around.

I saw his smile fade and then he turned to the bartender. “Martini on the rocks please.” He turned back to me. “We have a lot to talk about and it’s not here. I came with some of my colleagues. Can I see you later?” He reached into his breast pocket and handed me his card. “Call me?”

I looked at him from head to toe and downed the rest of my tequila. “Tayo even if I was born with five heads and no brain, I wouldn’t.” I turned around and walked away and I could bet his mouth hung open.

I joined the rest of the group and noticed Cheta sitting with Zara in their own little love cocoon. Oh how cute, I thought sarcastically and downed another shot of tequila. My eyes seemed glazed and as the waiter placed a plate of roasted fish and a bottle of vodka for the group, I poured the vodka into my glass.

I liked the way the alcohol warmed me. At least I had not been touched in a while so this was the perfect substitute.

“Abby what are you doing? I think you have-“Ogama said.

“Oh! Puhlese! What do you care? You have a baby to look after now so why don’t you go sit right beside him and attend to his needs and don’t play Mary Slessor here.”

“Abigail you are getting high. Stop this.”

“Is it your high?” I said laughing. “Shey he has gotten you a big ring? At least now you will close your tiny legs and sit down with one man. You have closed the poor boy’s account and now I wonder how, just how he is going to start that IT firm.”

I saw the shocked look on her face but the alcohol told me ‘who cares’? I hadn’t realised I had spoken loudly and the whole group had stopped eating to watch me strip off the rest of my dignity. I chugged down some more from the bottle.

I noticed Cheta’s eyes bore into mine. See this one forming jury. “Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, you think yours is better?” I glanced at Zara and saw her pleading eyes before settling on Cheta. “You are dating a tramp. She sleeps with our boss and then-“

“Abeg who bring this kain babe come this thing?” I heard someone say and I laughed heartily.

That is all I can remember.


Na disease ni?- Is it a disease?

Puhlese- Please



She is a writer, blogger, bathroom-singer and she loves to laugh. Her mind is her playground and if you want to know more… Visit Follow her on Twitter @loglilmary


  1. Did Abby self Wetin dey worry u? Ogama supported u while u were frolicking with ur faggot. Why are u putting sand in her garri?

  2. Is it your high…… hahahaha. been awhile i heard that slang. puhhleaseeeee longer episodes. Thank youuu.

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